It’s a good thing the richer and poorer thing is part of the marriage vows. While plenty of people have been incredibly happy when they have nothing (and my Grandma was a great example of that with her stories of not having 2 nickels to rub together, etc., etc.) it is widely understood that not having money can be stressful.
Money is nice
Money helps you pay the bills without the strain of wondering where it will come from. Money allows you to dream of something past the present day- to vacations or bigger houses or cars that work or the freedom to pursue a passion instead of a paycheck. There is a strong argument that money allows marriage to run a little smoother.
Money is no guarantee
Money does not mean you will be happy. It doesn’t mean you will avoid conflict, be on the same page, or feel understood. Money doesn’t bring laughter or listening or connection. You can go on vacation and hardly talk and you can have a bigger house and hardly see each other. And having money means you need to agree on how to spend it! Yep- money does NOT necessarily mean happy marriage. So we vow- for richer or for poorer.
Our Story
This picture was taken in 2007. At this point we had been married 10 years. We had moved across the country together. We had 2 children (a 3 year old and 1 year old). I had a masters degree and Scott was in grad school. And we had very little money. We did a budget because we knew we were supposed to, but there was literally no way on paper that we could be in the black. Every budget we drew up for 6 years was in the red. And we trusted God. We were an example of how God provided, how He showed up for what we needed, how He blew our minds with grace and generosity. There is quite a ride in trusting God to that extent. When you know that whether you are rich are poor, whether you have plenty or are in need, you are in the hands of a very powerful God, you can be at peace.
Right Now
As I write this, we are in another season of “for poorer”. We are rich in blessings: children, home, work we are passionate about, friends that are precious. This adventure of the Family Greenhouse is currently not able to provide a paycheck. It may be that we receive no paycheck at all, and for sure the 4th reduced paycheck in a row. But we are not chewing each other up. We are not considering walking away. We are not blaming each other. We are leaning into each other and most incredibly to God, and we are believing He will provide for us. A commitment must not waiver as the breeze does. This commitment of marriage defies the ebb and flow of life and monetary resources.
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